Texas Sized Bottles of Wine?

Why don't we have these? What's up with that?

We have vineyards in Texas, but I can't find any that make big bottles of vino. I'm not talking about the 1.5L magnum bottles, I'm talking about the a quadruple magnum 6L awesomeness or a ridiculous 15L nebuchadnezzar bottle. Yes, these are real things. But apparently not in Texas.

These would kick ass for graduations, birthday parties, charity events, whatever. It's an experience drinking one of these things. 6 liters can get is enough to get 15 people started, and some finished. 

Yes, the wine tastes better out of a bigger bottle. Yes, it's a pain in the ass to pour. Yes, there are more catches. One, you have to open the bottle like 10 hours early. Not kidding, it takes 10 hours for the wine to breathe so that it actually tastes good. (You don't wanna mess this part up.) Two, the cork's kind of a bitch to get out. You can still use a regular cork screw, but you're probably gonna have to chip off like a pound of wax to get to the cork. Three, you'll have to watch the cork if you want to keep it. People will absolutely try and take this as a souvenir, it's a good one ;)

I'm assuming that there is at least one vineyard in Texas that makes these things... But c'mon, do better marketing. I can't find you. I've looked. 

And yes, I realize that wine is not most people's drink of choice... Just remember, it will be when it's a center piece.

Shazam, gimme live events

How can you guys possibly not have thought of this? Play some music, have people hold up their phones to tag it, and give 'em something for free. Do it at a concert or at a NBA game. Hell, don't even give them something - Enter them in a raffle for a signed jersey or something. Much cooler than texting, for real.

Bonus idea: You should also do "Dinner and a Movie" or "DVD on TV" things, too. Let people use Shazam to get the recipe that they're looking at by tagging. Brilliant! Or, let watch some more "making of" stuff by tagging a part of the segment. This stuff isn't rocket science, guys. Get to work!!

Stop yelling at me Pandora

I get it, you have to make money, but please stop yelling. Pandora, I play you because you sing to me. From my buzz ballads on Third Eye Blind radio to the soothing sounds of reggae on Bob Marley radio, I can count on new songs, old songs and songs that I'll never hear on the Mix 96.1 playing. I've been a loyal member since '06 and I'm thrilled to have passed on the Pandora name to anyone who'd listen. I loved the story about how Pandora got started by people who loved music and wanted to pass their recommendations on to more than just family and friends. I've become a better and more knowledgeable music fan since becoming a member. So, why do you punish me?

I know it's a business. What I don't know is why it makes sense to punish your most loyal members.

What? Oh, you say to pay the $36/year and you'll remove the ads?! Fuck you. Sorry, that was involuntary. What I meant to say is there's more to be made from me and about million others like me as a twentysomthing male listener who has better things to spend my money on than retirement planning and kids.

Yeah, yeah, stop yelling for a minute and listen.

I can deal with the ads, even more frequent ads if they weren't so disruptive. I can't tell you how many times Jack in the Box or Rosetta Stone has ruined a great run of music. This is coming from someone who digs the Ultimate Cheeseburger and dreams of learning a new language. So you've got the right people running ads, so here's what you do to make them better:

Make your ads musical.

Partner with Shazam/other music snaggers.

Remove premium membership.

You'll be looking out for people like me. We'll listen more often and for longer. You'll get more members from people who still listen to regular radio. And you can always grandfather people in so that the can keep listening to ad free music if thats their thing.

This will take you from a business that has been trying to break me for 7 years to one that is all about the music. I think that's who you are, Pandora. I want to believe you're that music nerd down the hall from me who does it just for the music. Make me believe again.

What's the diference between a vitamin and a drug?

I suppose it makes sense to use my inaugural post to talk about what I like to talk about. I like theories and speculating on things that don't exist, but should. I have relatively narrow interests. I like sports, business, food, physics and space, and social dynamics. I also like asking questions that I think we'll be able to answer one day or maybe not... One more note, I'm extremely lazy, so all of this is purely speculation that I'll never research or create in all likelihood. If you're looking for more than that, you should try the finished products pipeline or some shit. Anyway, let's get to it.

What's the difference between a vitamin and a drug? I mean, there's decaffeinated 5 hour energy, but it still has an affect on me... So, saying that a drug affects you state of consciousness and a vitamin doesn't is bullshit. What about vitamins being more benign? Like, can you OD on vitamin B? I'd bet that you probably can just like you can OD on marijuana supposedly. Don't think that's going to help us figure out the difference.. Well, what about some drugs are illegal, but no vitamins are? That seems reasonable, but would that put legal drugs and vitamins in the same category? I totally don't know. But, I do know that people will get all confused if I start using those words interchangeably. For example, my favorite vitamin is caffeine. One, don't know why I'd say that, and two, we all know that caffeine is a drug. Or do we?

Not giving this one more than a paragraph because no one can possible care about this more than about 2-3 minutes worth... But seriously, what's the difference between a vitamin and a drug? Someone needs to do the legwork on this because lord knows it's not going to be me.